chronic pain, Moebius Syndrome

“I’m no princess of pain…”

“So stay out of my brain / I’m no princess of pain”

– Next to Normal, Tom Kitt & Brian Yorkey

I woke up with this lyric in my head, and coincidentally… in pain.  Luckily pain of the physical variety, not the mental variety of the song.  Not to sound too overwrought, but I identify with the sentiment all too well.

Sometimes pain is good, it means you’re working hard, stretching, loosening muscles and ultimately helping yourself be better.  Perhaps that is the lifelong horseback rider in me speaking there.  I’m used to feeling the burn, and welcome it (most of the time)!  I know I’m really working when I feel it – in my back muscles, in my inner thighs, hopefully not in my arms because that means I’m not riding correctly!  It’s a benchmark for me of trying, of doing my best with what I have to learn and progress.

And then there’s the bad pain.  The “how in the world does walking for a few hours around the shopping center make my feet scream?” pain.  The pain that’s not resolved with braces or over-the-counter medicine.  Only time.  And yet, what do I do with this?  I can’t not do anything because I might have pain afterwards.  (After all, that’s boring.  And I really needed to go to the mall to buy the blue chicken sweater on sale at J. Crew. Priorities, after all).  So I live with it.

Maybe growing up with pain has made me a pain hypocrite?!

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